Advice to a Younger Self

Every year, I get a little reflective before my birthday. I’ll be turning 28 on Monday and it’s so amazing to look back on where I was seven, six, five…heck, even two years ago. I remember when I was little that 28 sounded SO OLD. I could never even imagine being 18. Oh, how the naïve have fallen…

And then it got me to thinking. What advice would I give to younger girls? And here’s what I’d say: 

• Don’t let other people decide your self-worth. You are an amazing, expensive, non-expendable human being. At the end of the day, you’re the only person that’s required to be with you forever. Value yourself, your body and your mind to the fullest. 

• Invest in yourself. Whether you choose to go to college or pursue a trade school, if you choose to learn French or take up playing the piano, your efforts will pay dividends later in life. 

• Take care of yourself. Exercise, eat right, don’t smoke; wear make-up if it makes you feel good. Style your hair. Maintain a good skincare regime. All these things become exponentially harder as you get older. Start taking care of yourself, so that by the time you’re 28, it’s old habit. 

• Find a good moisturizer and hang on to it like it’s the Holy Grail. 

• Pray. It’s the best way to find answers to some of life’s most difficult problems. God is the best counsel ever. 

• Play the field. Not that there’s anything wrong with settling down at a younger age or with a high school sweetheart at all. But for me personally, I just wasn’t ready until my mid-twenties. It’s okay to date for the sake of dating. It gives you an idea of what you want in a long-term partner – and what you don’t. And besides, you’ll get some great stories out of it. 

• Your parents aren’t nearly as moronic as you once thought. They have eons more wisdom than you and have insight far beyond the understanding of your budding mind. Call your momma. Have coffee with your dad. Listen to their advice. You’ll need it someday. 

• Choose a career that lights your soul on fire. Passion lends itself to success, so no matter what field you choose, if you love it, you’ll do well. 

• Be picky when it comes to choosing your life mate. There’s plenty of time for that later on. I have a good friend who settled at the age of 23 for a man who didn’t treat her very well. He was decent-looking and said all the right things to her, but they also just filed for divorce. She admitted one day that she just felt like she needed to get married because of the taboo nature of being a single woman. I can tell you with one million percent certainty, she would have been FAR better off alone. 

• Open a retirement account as soon as you’re able. This is as boring as advice comes, but I’m so glad I did just that. 

• Live alone for a while. There’s nothing like the valuable life lessons that come with managing a home or apartment on your own. I can now fix a toilet, use a power drill, pay bills with my eyes closed, etc. This was the most useful, valuable time period of my life thus far. 

• Learn that it’s okay to like yourself. It seems as women, we’re taught to practice self-deprecation and self-loathing from a young age. For instance, when is the last time someone paid you a compliment and you believed them? Pick out a few characteristics of yourself (both physically and otherwise) and learn to appreciate them.

What advice would you give to your younger self?

Be blessed, lovelies-