On Beauty

When I found out that we were expecting a daughter, my heart nearly leapt out of my chest, (though I'm certain it would have happened no matter the gender.) The girly girl that I am was elated at the chance to buy dresses and bows and lots of pink. Even though we'd have been just as thrilled for an adorable little boy, (and hope to have one someday), there was something inside me that was just giddy at the thought of raising a daughter. And a little scared.

It got me to thinking about the enormous job of raising a confident, self-assured daughter.

I recently read this beautifully written post by Erin about how she's teaching her boys the meaning of true beauty. (If you haven't read it, please, please do.)

It's no secret that there's an incredible amount of stress and responsibility that comes with raising any child, boy or girl. Teaching them right from wrong, guiding their moral compasses, making them feel loved and wanted, helping mold them into decent human beings and giving them confidence, while also keeping them grounded. It's more than any new parent can wrap her head around.

How will I instill in Caroline the meaning of real, genuine beauty? How will I help her to feel physically beautiful, while also teaching her the importance inward prettiness? How, in a world filled with such rigid standards of female attractiveness, will I teach her to accept and love her imperfections when I still struggle with the acceptance of my own? {You can read about my journey here.}

It hit me recently: I'm going to have to change the way I speak of myself if I'm going to give this baby girl the confidence she deserves.

How many of us have stood in front of a mirror this week and said something similar to the following?

"Gaw, I look so _______."

(Fill in your own blank. Fat, bloated, pasty, tired, frumpy, bony, frizzy, plain, etc.)

But I never, ever want her to hear those words. I never want her to think it's okay or normal or even expected for her to speak such harsh words to herself.

I also want her to be an example to her friends. An example of a young lady who is confident in her abilities, in her talents and content with her physical self. A person that others want to be around because, in feeling good about herself, she encourages others and elevates their self-esteem, too.

And I know that this all starts with me.

My prayers this week have been for God to help me speak kindly to myself; to give me the tools to teach Caroline that her beauty doesn't begin and end with the reflection in the mirror. I pray that He will help me raise a child that will love herself - every part of herself.

A child with a heart full of kindness and grace, who accepts herself fully and happily.

And that, friends, is always a beautiful thing.

Happy birthday to one of my favorite beauties, our niece Ava! Aunt Leslie and Uncle Stephen love you to the moon and back!

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How do you teach your children the meaning of real beauty? Have you had to shift your thinking or the way in which you critique yourself?