Three Things

I have a to-do list about four miles long today, but Caroline is taking a nap, so I'm going to sit here, eat my lunch and type.

1) American Horror Story: Freakshow starts tonight, friends. If you're an AHS junkie like I am, then surely you're on pins and needles, too. What's funny is that I have to watch this show with all of our lamps and lights illuminated, the dog in my lap and my finger poised over the mute button for silencing jumpy sound effects during tense scenes. Why do I put myself through the anxiety that comes with watching this crazy show? Because Ryan Murphy is a genius. That's why.

2) So, this happened: Last Saturday morning, I took a ginormous Tervis Tumbler of coffee out the door with me, bound for Hobby Lobby to round up some party supplies. The FedEx man pulled up as I was getting into my car, so I sat my coffee on the top of my car and met him halfway up our driveway to retrieve a package.

I don't know if it was the excitement of a solo trip to HL or if I had temporary loss of short-term memory, but I hopped in my car and began driving down the street. There was a group of landscapers working on a new house in the subdivision and they were waving manically at me as I pulled up to the end of our street. I thought, "Wow, they're so friendly for this early on a Saturday morning!"

It never dawned on me that they were trying to tell me to get the freaking half gallon of coffee off the top of my car until I pulled out onto the highway and...wham-oh.

Milky coffee went everywhere. All over my windshield, my side windows and even somewhat on the car behind me.

Want to feel like a moron?

Now you know how.

3) I need these. That is all. (And they're less than $30. Score.)